The Tooth Fairy's Worst Night Ever

8 pages · 9 min · ages 7+

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“If I drop this silver coin on my toe again, I will turn into a squeaking doorknob,” Pip whispered. She shook her satchel and checked her glowing map. Pip wanted to collect all five baby teeth before sunrise so Chief Glimmer would let her keep her glittery fairy wings. If she failed, she would spend a hundred years sweeping dusty cobwebs in the tooth basement. To show she was ready, Pip attempted a triumphant backflip, but her wand jammed into her shoelace and flipped her headfirst into a tube of peppermint toothpaste. Bolt, the tiny brass beetle perched on her shoulder, polished his spectacles. “Very majestic,” Bolt said. “Five houses, five teeth, zero room for disaster.” Pip wiped the sticky mint gel from her chin. “Watch me work, Bolt. Smooth as butter, sneaky as a mouse!” Bolt clicked his little metal legs. “Mice do not smell like peppermint.”

House number one smelled of old sneakers and peanut butter. Little Arlo had propped a cardboard shoebox on a ruler, tying red yarn straight across his pillow. Pip thought the clumsy trap looked ridiculous. “Observe the master at work,” Pip whispered, hovering above the rug. She swooped in with her Official Fairy Sneak-Glide to snatch the tiny tooth. SNAP! Pip’s wing snagged the string, the ruler clattered, and the heavy box dropped over her head with a thud. In the dark, Pip bumped her nose against a fuzzy gummy bear. “Is this the sneaky part?” Bolt asked from her collar. Pip shoved the box away, swapped the tooth for a silver coin, and smoothed her dress. “That was just a warmup! Smooth as butter, sneaky as a mouse!” Bolt stared at her sticky hair. “Butter does not wear a gummy bear.”

At house number two, Pip flew through the window straight into a wet, snorting black nose. A giant fluffy dog named Buster sat on the rug, staring at her glowing wings. Pip felt her stomach drop into her sparkly boots. Buster licked his floppy chops, convinced Pip was a flying biscuit. “Stay calm,” Pip whispered. “I will deploy the Official Glitter-Distraction.” She tossed a fistful of golden fairy dust into the air. Buster let out a happy bark, thinking Pip came with sprinkles, and jumped with his giant jaws wide open. CHOMP! “Fly higher!” Bolt squeaked, clinging to her collar. Pip zoomed under a wooden desk while Buster scrambled across the rug with a loud clatter. “He loves the sparkle! Smooth as butter, sneaky as a mouse!” Bolt wiped dog drool off his spectacles. “That dog is ordering breakfast.”

Pip spotted a yellow rubber chicken in Buster’s basket. She swooped down and squeezed it hard. HONK! Buster pounced on the squawking toy while Pip darted beneath the sleeping boy's pillow. She swapped the second tooth for a coin and shot out the window into the cool night air. Dog slobber coated her wings, making her fly in wobbly corkscrews like a lopsided kite. Pip wanted to dry herself, but the village church bell chimed four loud rings. “Two teeth collected, three to go,” Pip gasped, shaking drops from her shoes. Bolt tapped his little brass watch. “You smell like wet carpet,” Bolt said. Pip wrung out her sparkly skirt with a grin. “A professional adapts! Smooth as butter, sneaky as a mouse!” Bolt polished his foggy glasses. “You are currently a flying sponge.”

Inside bedroom three, little Maya slept with her fingers clenched into a tight, stubborn ball. The third tooth gleamed between her knuckles like a trapped pebble. Pip wished sleeping children were not built like iron safes. “Time for the Official Feather-Tickle,” Pip whispered, pulling a soft goose feather from her pocket. She brushed the fluffy tip across Maya’s knuckles. Instead of opening, Maya’s hand snapped shut like a bear trap, grabbing the feather, Pip’s wand, and her satchel strap. Pip pulled with all her strength, her heels skidding across the sheets. “Let go, please!” Pip hissed, her ears turning bright red. Bolt peered at the locked fist. “She has the grip of an angry lobster,” Bolt whispered. Pip tugged harder, but Maya only snored. “Smooth as butter, sneaky as a mouse!” Pip groaned. Bolt adjusted his glasses. “The mouse is completely captured.”

Pip reached out and tickled Maya’s nose with the tip of her belt. Achoo! Maya sneezed, her fingers sprang wide, and Pip snatched the third tooth in midair while sliding a shiny coin under her thumb. Pip zoomed out the window into the purple dawn. At the final house, twin brothers slept beneath a pillow the size of a mountain, hiding the last two teeth. Pip shoved against the giant pillow with both shoulders, but the heavy down did not budge an inch. Pip feared Chief Glimmer would take her fairy badge forever. “Two minutes until sunrise,” Bolt announced, his tiny brass gears clicking. “We cannot lift a mountain.” Pip looked down at the red yarn from Arlo's trap in her pocket and smiled. “We do not lift mountains, Bolt. We build a pulley!” Bolt stared. “A what?”

Pip tied Arlo’s red yarn tightly around the corner of the mountain pillow. She tossed the other end over the wooden ceiling fan and looped it around the bedpost. Pip knew her little machine would work if she timed it right. She hung her heavy coin pouch on the yarn for extra weight and yanked the line with both hands. With a soft creak, the giant pillow lifted into the air like a slow cloud, floating three inches above the mattress. Pip zipped underneath, plucked both gleaming white teeth from the sheet, and slipped two shiny silver coins in their place. The cool morning air smelled of dewy grass as she loosened the string, letting the pillow drift down gently onto the snoring twins. “Five teeth in the bag!” Pip cheered. Bolt watched the orange horizon. “Fly, you wild builder!”

Pip tumbled through the hidden fairy door in the old oak tree just as the first golden sunbeam touched the roof. Chief Glimmer stood with her silver clipboard, tapping her foot on the mossy rug. Pip dumped all five sparkling teeth onto the velvet table with a bright rattle. Pip felt proud enough to burst right out of her leather boots. Chief Glimmer counted every single tooth, nodded slowly, and pinned a shining gold star to Pip’s collar. “Five teeth before sunrise,” Chief Glimmer said gravely. “You are officially a Master Tooth Fairy.” Chief Glimmer tilted her head at the gummy bear stuck in Pip’s hair, the dog slobber on her wings, and the yellow rubber chicken on her belt. “How did the mission go?” Pip puffed her chest. “Smooth as butter, sneaky as a mouse!” Bolt polished his spectacles. “Next time, I am bringing toast.”