The Axolotl and the Grumpiest Turtle

8 pages · 7 min · ages 6+

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Everybody in Sunny Lake knew the rule: nobody could make Mr. Snapper smile. Mr. Snapper was the oldest turtle in the lake. He had sat on the same flat rock for a hundred years, and to everything anybody said, he said one word. “Morning, Mr. Snapper!” “No.” Ollie's face was always smiling, even when he did not mean it to. He could not imagine a face that never did. “I dare you,” said Snip, clicking his claws. “Make him smile by sunset, and I'll carry your pearl shell for a week. If you can't, you wear the pineapple helmet all day tomorrow.” Ollie gulped. He remembered the pineapple helmet. “Deal,” said Ollie.

Ollie swam up to the rock and cleared his throat. “Mr. Snapper, why did the crab never share his snacks?” Mr. Snapper looked at him. “Because he was shellfish!” said Ollie. Snip laughed so hard that he fell over sideways and lay on his back, waving his legs. Two minnows giggled. A snail at the back said, “Good one.” Mr. Snapper did not move one scale. “No,” said Mr. Snapper. Snip rolled back onto his feet and wiped his eyes. “Snapper one,” he said. “Ollie zero.”

Jokes were not enough. Ollie needed moves. He puffed out his frilly gills until they stood up like two pink feather dusters, and he did his famous wiggle dance. Wiggle to the left. Wiggle to the right. Spin, spin, bubble! The bubbles went up in a long silver line. The minnows started dancing too. A crab from the next rock joined in. Soon half the lake was wiggling in front of Mr. Snapper's rock. Mr. Snapper watched the whole thing, from the first wiggle to the last bubble. “No,” said Mr. Snapper. “Snapper two,” said Snip. “Ollie zero.”

Ollie swam in a small, thinking circle. He needed the biggest, funniest thing Sunny Lake had ever seen. He needed a show. “Mrs. Puffer,” he said, “can you puff up extra big?” “Dear boy,” said Mrs. Puffer, “I can puff up enormous.” Snip would juggle pebbles. The minnows would do a swimming wave. And Ollie would stand on top of Mrs. Puffer, the grand finale, and wave. They practised all afternoon. By the time the light turned golden, everybody in the lake had come to watch, and Mr. Snapper sat on his rock in the very front row, because it was his rock.

“Ladies and gentlefish,” Ollie announced, “the greatest show in the lake!” Snip juggled. Plop, plop, plop. The minnows did their wave. Swoosh! Mrs. Puffer puffed. And puffed. And puffed, until she was as round as a beach ball, and Ollie climbed on top of her and threw his arms up. “Ta-da!” Mrs. Puffer began to float. Up she went, with Ollie on top, higher and higher, until they bumped gently into the lily pads at the top of the lake and stuck there. The whole lake laughed until the water shook. Everybody except one. “No,” said Mr. Snapper. Snip didn't even say the score. He just held up three claws.

When Ollie finally floated back down, the show was over and everybody had gone home. The water was turning orange. Sunset was coming. Ollie was too tired to try anything else. He looked at Mr. Snapper, alone on his rock, the way he was alone there every evening. Maybe, Ollie thought, he doesn't need a show. Maybe he needs somebody to sit with. So Ollie sat down on the edge of the flat rock, right next to him, and for a long time neither of them said anything. “Today,” said Ollie at last, “I told a joke nobody wanted, I danced until my gills hurt, and I got stuck in a lily pad. And tomorrow I have to wear a pineapple.” Mr. Snapper slowly turned his big old head. “Hmph,” said Mr. Snapper. “A hundred years ago, a pelican sat on me. For a whole afternoon.”

“A pelican?” said Ollie. “What did you do?” “I said no,” said Mr. Snapper. “He didn't listen.” Ollie laughed. Then Mr. Snapper told him about the duck who thought he was a rock, and the frog who asked him to be in a band. Ollie told him about the crab who flattened his sandcastle. The sun sank lower. And then something happened that had not happened in a hundred years. The corner of Mr. Snapper's mouth went up. Then the other corner. It was a small, creaky smile, like an old door opening. Ollie's mouth fell open. For the very first time in his life, his face went the other way. “Ollie!” gasped Snip, who had been hiding behind a rock. “You're frowning!” “I'm not frowning,” whispered Ollie. “I'm amazed.”

The next morning, Snip carried Ollie's pearl shell all the way across the lake, grumbling. A deal was a deal. Everybody swam past the flat rock to wave. “Morning, Mr. Snapper!” Mr. Snapper was sitting on his rock as always. But today he was wearing the spiky urchin helmet, tied neatly under his chin with kelp string. Ollie stopped. “Why are you wearing that?” Mr. Snapper thought about it for a long, long time. “Pineapples,” said Mr. Snapper, “mean business.” And he smiled.