The Noisiest Ninja

8 pages · 6 min · ages 6+

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Kit tied her dressing-gown belt in a double knot, like a real ninja belt, and pulled her black socks up to her knees. Mr. Panda was still on the kitchen table. Kit could not sleep without Mr. Panda. Nobody could expect her to. But Dad had said, “Once the light is off, nobody leaves their bed. One more time, and there's no film night on Saturday.” The house was dark. Downstairs, the fridge hummed its low, sleepy hum, like a bear snoring in a cave. Brrrrmmmm. Then it stopped. Kit crept to her bedroom door and put one finger to her lips. “Silent,” she whispered, “as a shadow.”

Kit knew all about the stairs. Step number seven squeaked. So at step six she took a deep breath, and jumped, and landed as light as a leaf on step number eight. EEEEEEK! Step number eight squeaked louder than step seven had ever squeaked in its whole life. Kit froze on one leg, with her arms out like a ninja. A voice came out of the dark. “Kit?” Kit did not move. She thought very fast. “Meow,” said Kit. There was a long pause. “We don't have a cat,” said the voice.

The hallway floor was shiny and smooth. Slippers were far too noisy for a ninja. Kit took them off and began to slide in her socks, very carefully. Then a bit faster. Then really quite fast. “Whoa,” whispered Kit. Whoosh! She shot down the hallway like a ninja on ice and straight into the coat stand. Crash! Down came Dad's big coat. Down came three umbrellas and a bicycle helmet. When everything stopped rolling, Kit was sitting on the floor wearing Dad's coat and the helmet. “Kit?” said the voice. Kit swallowed. “Woof,” said Kit. “We don't have a dog either,” said the voice.

The living room was the most dangerous room in the house. It belonged to Baby Sam, and Baby Sam's toys were everywhere. Kit wriggled out of the coat. She dropped to the carpet and crawled like a ninja. She rolled like a ninja, over a soft block and past a giraffe. She was nearly there. On the other side of the room was the kitchen door. The kitchen door always creaked, a long, loud creak, like an old pirate ship. Dad kept saying he would oil it. He never did. Kit rolled one more time, the best ninja roll of her life.

She rolled right onto Baby Sam's yellow singing duck. “THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND!” sang the duck, very loudly, with trumpets. Kit sat on it. The duck went on singing underneath her, “ROUND AND ROUND!” Kit grabbed a cushion and a blanket and hid under them, with the duck. It went on singing, a bit muffled, all the way to the end of the song. Then it went quiet. “Kit?” said the voice. Kit took a very deep breath. “Moo,” said Kit. There was a longer pause than ever before. “We definitely don't have a cow,” said the voice.

Kit stayed under the blanket. Her heart was going thump-thump like a drum. Right in front of her was the kitchen door. If she opened it, it would creak its long pirate-ship creak, and the whole house would wake up, and there would be no film night ever again. Maybe she was not a ninja at all. Maybe she was just a very loud girl in a dressing gown. “Mr. Panda,” Kit whispered to the door, “I'm sorry.” Then, from the other side of the door, came a sound. Brrrrrmmmm. The fridge. Humming its sleepy bear hum, loud and low. Kit's eyes went wide. And then it stopped.

Kit crept to the door. She put her hand on the handle. And she waited. Silent as a shadow. She waited so long her foot fell asleep. Then… Brrrrrmmmm. The fridge began to hum. Kit pushed the door, slowly, slowly, while the hum was at its loudest. The door creaked its long pirate-ship creak, and nobody heard a thing, because the fridge was louder. Kit slipped into the dark kitchen. There, on the table, sat Mr. Panda. Kit scooped him up and squeezed him tight. She had done it. She was a real ninja. Then the fridge door swung open, all by itself, and bright light spilled across the floor.

In the light of the fridge stood Dad. He was in his pyjamas. He was standing on one leg, with his arms out like a ninja. He had a chocolate cookie in his mouth. Kit looked at Dad. Dad looked at Kit. Kit held up Mr. Panda. Dad slowly held up the cookie jar. Nobody said anything for a very long time. Then Dad took the cookie out of his mouth. “Meow,” said Dad. “Dad,” whispered Kit, “we don't have a cat.”