My Monster Goes to School

8 pages · 6 min · ages 6+

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“Can I come?” The voice came from under the bed. So did a purple paw, holding on to Theo's backpack. “Monsters don't go to school,” said Theo. “Just once,” said Gorp. “I want to see what's in there.” Theo sighed. “If anybody finds out you're a monster, you go straight home. And I get in big trouble. So you have to act normal.” Gorp put on Theo's woolly hat to hide his horns. He wrapped a scarf round his fangs. He put on Dad's sunglasses. They covered two of his eyes. The third one blinked in the middle, between the lenses. “Normal!” said Gorp. “I am so normal!”

Ms. Pennywhistle wore enormous round glasses and a very tall green hat, even indoors. She was calling the register. “Ruby?” “Here!” “Theo?” “Here!” Then she looked at the large purple thing squeezed onto the tiny chair next to Theo. “And you are?” “Gordon,” said Gorp. “I am a normal boy.” His middle eye blinked. The whole class turned round to stare. “He has an eye on his nose,” whispered Ruby. “Act normal, Gorp,” hissed Theo. “Normal!” said Gorp. The chair went creak. Ms. Pennywhistle wrote something down. “Lovely,” she said.

At lunchtime, everybody opened their lunchboxes. Theo had a cheese sandwich and an apple. Gorp had a sock sandwich and a jar of wiggly green jelly worms. Ruby leaned over. “Is that a sock?” “It is a normal sock,” said Gorp. “In normal bread.” “Why is it in bread?” “Where else would you put a sock?” asked Gorp. Theo put his head on the table. “Act normal,” he whispered into the table. Gorp wanted to fit in more than anything. He watched how Theo ate: little bites, chew, chew, swallow. Gorp could do that.

Gorp took a little bite. Too little. He took a bigger bite. His scarf got in the way. So he opened his mouth as wide as it would go, and the whole sock sandwich disappeared in one enormous gulp. Glomp. The table went quiet. Gorp's woolly hat wobbled, and one purple horn popped out of the top. Theo grabbed the hat and pulled it down over Gorp's ears. “Normal,” squeaked Gorp. Ms. Pennywhistle walked past with her tea. She looked at the empty bread crust, and she looked at the horn-shaped lump in the hat. “Lovely,” she said.

In the afternoon, the photographer came for the class photo. He set up a big camera on three legs in the hall. “Tall ones at the back!” Gorp stood at the back. He was the tallest by a lot. “Now, everybody,” said the photographer, “big smiles, and nobody move!” Gorp had never had his photo taken. He did not know what happened in a photo. He smiled his most normal smile, which showed both fangs. Theo nudged him. “Act normal.” Gorp stopped smiling. He tried a normal face instead. It was worse. “Three,” said the photographer, “two, one…”

Flash! Gorp jumped. He jumped so high that his hat flew one way, his scarf flew the other, and Dad's sunglasses landed on the photographer. Gorp came down in the art corner, upside down, with a pot of blue paint on his head. Everybody saw him now. Purple fur. Two horns. Three blinking eyes. Nobody said a word. Gorp wanted to crawl under the nearest desk and never come out. “Sorry, Theo,” he whispered. Then somebody giggled. It was Ruby. She was pointing at the paint pot. Gorp looked up at it. Once, at the big Monster Show, he had fallen into a barrel of apples, and the whole town had laughed until they cried.

Gorp stopped trying to be normal. He wobbled the paint pot on his head like a hat. He bowed. The pot fell off, and he caught it on his tail. He rolled across the hall like a furry purple bowling ball and knocked over every skittle in the gym box. Clatter-clatter-crash! Strike! The whole class laughed. They laughed so hard that Ruby got the hiccups. “Do it again!” shouted Ruby. So Gorp did. Flash! went the camera. It was the best class photo the school had ever had. Everybody in it was laughing, even Theo. Especially Theo.

When the bell rang, the children ran home shouting, “Bye, Gordon!” Theo and Gorp were the last to go. At the door, Gorp looked back. Ms. Pennywhistle was alone in the classroom. She took off her enormous glasses. She had three eyes. Then she lifted her very tall hat. Underneath were two small, curly horns. She saw them looking. Very slowly, she winked her middle eye. “Act normal,” whispered Ms. Pennywhistle.